Ye Olde Pacific Ocean

Kaden is picking me up from work & we are going to the ocean, with his family, James' family, & another family I don't know as well. I am so excited!! I can't remember last time I was this excited. I don't think I've been to the ocean since September of 2008, I think, which is silly. Also I'm really excited to see James, since he moved to California in June. Kaden kept saying "Picking you up from work & driving to the ocean is like the best part of the whole trip." We used to drive around so much.

Last time we went to this place, The Beachwood, was seven years ago. Kaden and I had been together less than a month; he hadn't even broken up with his other girlfriend yet! That was the first time I met James, and we invited him to move into Kaden's room - it was my plot to move Kaden into my bedroom. We roamed around the beach all night with Kaden's brother Eric, smoking pot and drinking from a bottle of whiskey. Some of the best sex of my life was on the hide-a-bed at The Beachwood.

So I'm thrilled to go back, harboring such fond memories. I am full of joy. I am so grateful to be experiencing the thrill of looking forward to something so purely!

Romantic Getaways.

You know how you romanticize places you have been in your mind? For years I thought of the Imana Colonies in Iowa as the most perfect place in the world, after Cree, Kell & I drove through there on our roadtrip in 2001. Just as I wrote that I realized that I can’t even conjure up the idyllic memory I have of that place. Now I only see when Kaden & I went there in 2007. And it wasn’t as beautiful as I remembered; it was very nice, but not so magical. We were listening to Galaxie 500 & Tonight’s the Night.

Right now the place I want most to go is Death Valley. Kaden & I went there on our roadtrip in 2005. It was September & it felt cooler to put on a flannel shirt than to have bare arms.

Another place I have romanticized to death is West Yellowstone, the town outside of the park, where we stayed in cabins once when I was 10. I only recently found out that Yellowstone is not Kaden’s dream vacation, as it is mine.

We are pseudo-planning our “honeymoon.” In fact I have not even asked for time off work yet - I have not even told anyone except one co-worker that we are even tying the knot. At first we thought we’d just go to Leavenworth because it is easy. But we go there about twice a year, so I’d like to do something more special.

I’d like to drive through Death Valley.

I think I need to go thrift shopping more. Like, a lot more. I hate shopping but I am also not completely satisfied with my wardrobe & style. Although today I am pretty thrilled with my outfit!

fashion concepts.

I am dreaming of creating a "new fall look" or "fashion concept" for myself. This means I spend too much time online. & It probably won't happen. But then again I do have a new affirmation:

Every day physically do something to manifest your dreams.

Should that include shopping? Ha ha ha. Well, I dream of stripes & ruffles & eyelet lace & stirrup leggings & dark wash jeans & prairie dresses & nerdy loafers.

Wheat Fields by Hotel Hell

Field of Daisies by Hotel Hell

Music News U Toucan Use

So, I never consider myself to be "into" roots/americana/alt-country - better to leave the old styles to the old timey music. Plus I'm not hot/new weird america enough, though I would like to be. But, if you happen to listen to KAOS at 6 in the morning, you get your roots/americana/alt-country on.

And, I had forgotten, or failed to recognize, or missed by not being "into" it, that sweet darkness of longing present in that music & nowhere else, not even the true old timey stuff. It reminds me of the late summer turning to autumn when Kaden & I were first "into" each other. This morning was a foggy morning, and I decided to get "into" roots/americana/alt-country. It's nice. I think Kaden would like it too; apparently what is being done in that genre now pretty much surpasses what was being done 7-10 years ago. It seems much deeper & sweeter, but then again, never having been "into" it, I know very little of the past 7-10 years. I enjoyed songs from musicians that I believe to be called Lay Low, The Last of the High Rollers [edit: LOST High Rollers, got it!], and Star Anna?

In other music news, I got "Mortal Mirror" by Quix*o*tic this weekend. I have meant to listen to Quix*o*tic for approximately 10 years, since I saw them at the first Ladyfest. So that's cool. In Olympia they are selling a cassette of a 1995 show at the Midnight Sun featuring Ce Be Barnes Band which had Rachel & Radio & Miranda July. Whoa. I got it & can't wait to hear it! We were trying to keep our stereo system minimal since it is in our housemates' pristine suburban neutral-colored home, and the stereo is big & black, but I think we will have to get the tape deck up there. There are too many good mix tapes we are missing.

Links:
Lay Low
Star Anna
Lost High Rollers
Quix*o*tic

Fondness for Things

I have a fondness for things. The other day I was going through our stuff in Cree’s garage, trying to get rid of more stuff, and I came across a bunch of our kitchen stuff. I MISS using our kitchen stuff. Kaden said that our housemates “Have the kind of kitchen stuff people have who don’t actually cook, stuff your parents buy when you move out.” I have such affection for our specific kitchen utensils, and I sorely miss using them. I have a fondness for Kaden’s things. His things that I have seen float around our lives for so many years. His old binders with words written on and glued to them. From time to time I consider clutter clearing and minimalism, but I love the comfort of unessential things that are always there.

Own Space

Right this second, it's breaking my heart, but in a sweet and desire-filled way, not having my own home space to decorate, style, and exist within. But, it will probably pass.

Also started half-dreaming of having an etsy vintage shoppe. Which I am not allowing to lead immediately to kicking myself for all the stuff I gave away before moving.

It is funny when places are still so much alive in your mind; I always think about it when I go visit my relatives in Illinois, and it's like I haven't been away from their homes for the years that I have been. I feel that way about our old apartment in Bellingham, but the thing is, it is not there waiting for me.

I may be a sucker, but, "What's In It For" by Avi Buffalo gives me a big thrill of infinite possibility. It's rather absurd, but, what can you do. It's also very exciting to suddenly like a band that is both new/current and with members younger than yourself.